[11/11/2021, 16:01] Anh: Omfg three cakes🥶🥶🥶
[11/11/2021, 16:02] Anh: Too sweeeeeet
[11/11/2021, 16:03] Anh: Thank you🧎🏻🧎🏻🧎🏻🧎🏻
[11/11/2021, 16:03] M: You welcome 🙂
[11/11/2021, 18:00] Anh: I made an experiment with bacon and cabbage. If you want some let me know✌
[11/11/2021, 18:03] M: Damn sounds nice
[11/11/2021, 18:03] M: Yeah I would to
[11/11/2021, 18:04] Anh: I bring you the whole pot
[11/11/2021, 18:07] Anh: Have your spoon and bowl ready!
[11/11/2021, 18:07] Anh: Coming in 2min

…

[11/24/2021, 13:17] M: Yo don’t buy anything for lunch I made you some chickens🍗🥰
[11/24/2021, 13:18] M: You just need to microwave them
[11/24/2021, 13:36] Anh: Thank you!!!!!!
[11/24/2021, 13:36] M: You are welcome!!

…

[2/2, 16:35] Anh: Last bus
[2/2, 16:36] Anh: Just finished✌
[2/2, 16:44] M: Keep going love, I am waiting with my heart and soul full of excitement and love ❤️❤️❤️❤️
[2/2, 16:53] M: 😍😍
[2/2, 17:05] Anh: Can you not lock the door and the stair door when you go out
[2/2, 17:05] Anh: So we don’t need more time to unlock when we get back in
[2/2, 17:12] M: ABSOLUTELY!!!
[2/2, 17:52] Anh: ON THE TRAIN✌
[2/2, 17:52] M: Have a nice trip, I will be waiting
[2/2, 17:52] M: 😚
[2/2, 17:52] Anh: Thank you babieeee
[2/2, 17:53] M: LOVE YOY 💘
[2/2, 17:53] Anh: LOVE YOY TOO

…

Little moments. So simple. Why do I keep forgetting how happiness and love comes in the little things?! Now I regret. I look back to the past, running from the painful present and absolutely detest the future. What was I fighting for then when I already had everything? How silly I was. I literally thought I was fighting for a “future”, something that doesn’t exist. And now my everything is gone as I long for a day to finally be able to touch his face again, look into those eyes that send me straight to the sea of calmness. His presence will sooth my heart like nothing ever happened…which might be no more than just a luxurious fantasy of mine.

In the meanwhile, I’m learning to love myself as the way I was loved by him. It is surely difficult, especially I still cry every night. It’s too easy to fall into the victim mindset when all I see is my loss. Sometimes I can’t help living in my head: “from my side of the story, I’m unlovable, I’m ignored, I’m in deep pain while he is out there having fun and welcoming new people into his life. Among all the people he met, he chose to get rid of me, after all the love and kindness I gave. Did he decide that I’m no better than the some stranger he meets once or twice on the street? I must be the worst.” Again, why is it so easy to talk shit on myself? He wouldn’t do this to me so I should definitely stop doing it to myself.

Still, even though I struggle to hold myself strong every day, I wish him nothing but peace and love. A special person will come into his life and treat him like how he deserves to be treated. She will appreciate him, listen to him, understand him and love him with all her heart. He will forget about me with the dramas. He will have the best life, while I might not be there to witness, I’ll be truly happy for him.

Moreover, I understand that I too deserve peace and love. I’m aware that I come first in my life, as much as I’m aware that each person comes first in their own life.

I’ve learned the lesson of unconditional love that goes beyond physical possession and bounded labels.

Anh, it’s time to go home.