Solutions

I realize I do think a lot about ending my life. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing.

I’m still able to feel happy, excited and many other positive feelings. I feel a lot, but for some reason, feelings don’t fill me up like the way they used to.

Is it the hopeful feeling that I’m lacking?

To look deeper inside of me, I do see visions of how I would like my life to be. There are a lot of challenges ahead that I’m sure if I put my mind into, I will surely overcome them all. Yet the goals don’t seem so important and inspiring anymore. “Meh, I don’t mind if I won’t reach them to be honest”, I tell myself.

I feel like if I end it all here and now it wouldn’t be bad either. I’m old, tired and I have had enough. I see the points of being alive, but I also feel fine ceasing to seek further. I’m not depressed, I’m satisfied, enough to call it a life.

A happohippy habit

Daily writing prompt
Describe one habit that brings you joy.

Every night before bed, I take my time to do my skinscare/bodily care routine. I take my time to wash my face, apply rose water, lotion, serum and gently massage my skin with sea buckhorn oil. I also make sure my feet get some attention with an expensive foot cream since they’ve been cracking in this dry climate of Italy. Then during winter days, I also use body lotion before bed to get some extra moist.

Despite so much money spent on products and so many steps to do, it doesn’t really matter what I use on my body. It is the fact that at the end of the day, I show up for myself, taking care and pamper myself. This little habit reminds me that I deserve love and care, that I will be the first one to give it to myself. It’s a habit that I will never rush doing, but do it with calmness, enjoy the gentle feels of the substance on my face and feel it absorbed into the skin while completely revelling in the herbal scent all around.