I realize I do think a lot about ending my life. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing.

I’m still able to feel happy, excited and many other positive feelings. I feel a lot, but for some reason, feelings don’t fill me up like the way they used to.

Is it the hopeful feeling that I’m lacking?

To look deeper inside of me, I do see visions of how I would like my life to be. There are a lot of challenges ahead that I’m sure if I put my mind into, I will surely overcome them all. Yet the goals don’t seem so important and inspiring anymore. “Meh, I don’t mind if I won’t reach them to be honest”, I tell myself.

I feel like if I end it all here and now it wouldn’t be bad either. I’m old, tired and I have had enough. I see the points of being alive, but I also feel fine ceasing to seek further. I’m not depressed, I’m satisfied, enough to call it a life.