(A kind reminder to myself)

Everyone knows about the two way relationship between the mind and the body. Everyone talks about how to be fit, how to move in order to have better mental health. It seems, that only looking at such direction, the two way dynamics already makes so much sense.

But I wonder, how about the role of the mind in our bodily health? How about the fact that being all stressed slows our metabolism badly? Or how our immune system plummets due to worries and anxiety? Or the fact that our bodies seem to all embrace the same narratives that the society, the people around us are telling despite our wide differences?

Since small, I was told about how a girl body should look like, which was bad enough. Then I grew up a little bit, the story expanded to what a certain type of bodies could do or become. And now, being closer to the age of 30, as I’ve met more people, read more and seen more, I’ve also been introduced to the slow deterioration of the human body. “You will feel your age, just wait!”

Hearing those narratives about bodies (whose bodies?), it would be so strange if my body doesn’t begin to act out those narratives. Since they’re personal experience, it seems so real to my brain to start to listen and believe. But I have to stop myself and ask: Whose personal experience?

Definitely not mine.

You can tell me beauty is abs and muscles. Good for you, and my idea of beauty is the diversity of shapes.

You tell me, fat people do nothing. But from what I see, they dance, they exercise, they move their bodies, they break the norms. Anything and everything that a skinny body does, a fat body can too.

And THIS one baffles me the most: they say, after the age of 28, you can’t party, you start to have back pain, your metabolism is slow, you can’t function without sleeping early. And then you give me unsolicited health advices. I am sorry for you, but please let me feel my body, let me love my body and love the way it ages.

I know many people are worried about their loved ones’ well-being. But if you’re my loved one, the best you can do is helping me love my body. When I love my body, I will feel it better, I will know what is needed, what is not. And aging is not scary. It simply means that you’re alive and you’re living your life.

From now, I will only accept the language of love and appreciation. Although I appreciate your worries about my body, please let me own it, and celebrate it the way it is. My goal is never to be alive as long as possible, but to live so I can enjoy my time, to live fully, peacefully and lovingly.

I claim back my body. Fully, kindly and patiently.