there is always this profound hollow feeling in my chest that probably will never go away. it feels like you are still here with us, that everything we do is with your existence. i still have the habit of searching for you many times during the day but i just can’t find you anywhere. anymore.

who do I call now when I’m in immense pain? — i’ve realized that now as i call you these restless nights because it’s just how i cry. a child crying for mommy when she’s upset. but how does it work for me now when it’s the pain of missing you??? please tell me how.