After all the stormy nights from the exterior chaotic world, I finally have some time to sit down, breath and think about myself.

I am broken. I don’t know how bad, but I know I am broken. Probably not entirely but parts. Probably it all started since I had my first memory. Until now, I still have flashbacks, voices that all come down to one thing: “You’re not enough”. Despite all the people who loved or tried to love me, part of my brain still refuses to accept anything other than self-sabotage.

I’m ever wanting to start all over again. I want to reprogram my mind that emits love, peace and kindness. How poetic my life would be. I am healing. Bringing together what are there and make it whole, despite the distorted shape it’d turn out. That would be me. I am healing.

I was unalived then alived again. I should acknowledge me being resilient. Maybe I should also acknowledge the fact that I don’t acknowledge me being resilient. Or I should just acknowledge me being. Being and aliveness is enough. To be able to push through life is worth celebrating, and once so, we can talk about enjoying the ride.

…

P/S: Good god how much I love Katy Perry. I wish I could see her live concert oneday ❤